It is really important to me that I share and reflect on the hard things as much as I reflect on the beautiful moments because, when you look at it they both can change your life and switch perspectives. I am learning to not be afraid of sharing the nitty gritty, the days I just thought it would be easier to go home, the days I felt unprepared by where I was in my walk with God. But, the cool and amazing part about these stories for me is that they didn’t push me farther away from the Lord but to an extreme reliance on God. That is why I have been calling my spiritual journey a spiritual face plant because by myself I don’t have much to offer but every morning if I look to God to pick me up off that sidewalk and show me what he needs for that day, great things are always in store.
When I left for the race I basically thought I was constantly letting God down, that he just shook his head at me and thought I was a failure in his eyes. I believed that I wasn’t doing good enough for Christ. I have lived my life up to this point not living for him but to try and please him like a little kid trying to hang out with the cool kids in school, everything I did was to please the people of the church the people who had given their opinions and I believed that was the opinion I should have as well to be what God wanted from me. This trip was to please God before I went to college. But here’s that thing, I was only seeing myself as not good enough for him and that is not the case.
When I arrived at World Race training camp it shook my world in the way I look at God being a Christ. He is worth being celebrated and worshipped in any and every form, he deserves being let into what you’re feeling or how your day is going and he should be listened to by you and leading you in where you are supposed to go. After realizing how my view of God was more of a glass half full type of faith. I felt pretty empty and like it was time to start over. And that’s where I continue to be diving into a full reliance on the Lord, Starting from the beginning of my bible, and living for God with a Heart of Joy not with a thought of obligation.
As I started on this journey I found myself back at the verse I used for my fundraising t -shirts. I looked at the beginning of this verse and felt like the Lord was allowing me to truly live it out. Ephesians 5: 8-9 says “For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of the light. (For the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth).
What is God doing to change your perspective of faith?
Keep reaching for the light Brook! Thank you for inspiring me.